The Blind Date
Near the end of my third year at UVA, some of my fraternity brothers planned to caravan to Mary Baldwin College to take their girlfriends to The Rafters, a dance hall with a live band. One of them was engaged to a Mary Baldwin senior, who was legendary for setting up successful blind dates. She offered to match me up with one of her friends. My experience with blind dates had been disastrous, to put it mildly, but her reputation convinced me to sign on.
Mary Baldwin sits on the side of a hill in Staunton. We pulled to the curb at the foot of a flight of stairs that climbed to a yellow building fronted with massive white columns. We entered the lobby; the second floor doors opened; and ten girls came down the steps single file. One of them caught my eye. Auburn hair, chin length, flipped up on one side, stunning hazel eyes. I wondered which lucky guy would be paired with her.
When my friend’s fiancé introduced me to my date, the girl with the auburn hair flashed a pixie grin that took my breath away.
We had a lot of fun that night, and I drove back to UVA in a daze.
I asked her out again and she accepted.
On our third date, I gave her my fraternity pin. “Pinning” was a big deal back then, sort of a pre-engagement commitment. I was rushing it big-time, but she didn’t turn me down, so I thought maybe I had a chance.
Then the school year ended, and I despaired. She’d planned to graduate in three years. To finish the few remaining classes she needed, she’d enrolled in summer school at Boston University. She didn’t intend to return to Mary Baldwin. I was committed to a job in Virginia for the summer and had another year at UVA still to go. I thought I’d never see her again.
In a great gesture of friendship, one of my fraternity brothers offered to drive me to Boston to see her that summer. I took a week off from my job and spent it with her.
She took me to one of her classes. A guy who played guitar for The Jefferson Airplane sat in the row behind us. A fullback on the Boston University football team sat on the other side of her. They were very interested in her, and they were both good-looking, nice guys. I hated their guts.
We were sitting on a blanket having a picnic lunch in front of the camel exhibit at the Franklin Park Zoo in Boston when I asked her to consider returning to Mary Baldwin for another year.
“Why?” she said.
“I want to keep seeing you.”
She looked at me curiously, as though she didn’t understand, and I realized I had to tell her the truth. I swallowed hard. “I want you to marry me after graduation.”
I don’t remember much about the camels, the zoo, or the rest of the day. She was all I could think about after she said she wanted to marry me, too.
That fall, I met her family. I overheard a neighbor talking to her father. “What says they’re going to get married?” the neighbor asked. “That old pin, I guess.” The neighbor wouldn’t let up. “Is he going to give her an engagement ring?” A long pause. Then, “I don’t know.”
I planned to give her an engagement ring, but being flat-out broke, I hadn’t figured out how I would spring for it. Back at school, I asked her what kind of ring she wanted, thinking it would be a traditional diamond. She launched into a detailed description of a green jewel surrounded by a circle of little diamonds on a gold band. “A little green flower,” she said, giving me that grin that got me in trouble in the first place.
I knew nothing about jewelry, but I figured a little green flower would be hard to find. The first ring I saw in the first jewelry store I walked into sat in the center of a glass case near the door – an emerald surrounded by a circle of diamonds perched on a gold band. A little green flower.
I thought it was meant to be! Until the jeweler told me its price. When I recovered my voice, I explained that I had to have that ring even though I couldn’t pay for it. The jeweler returned the ring to its red satin bed inside the glass case and turned the key on the lock.
Short of armed robbery, I couldn’t think of a way to get that ring.
“Why don’t you sell your stamp collection?” my mother said.
When I was a little boy, my mother and I would save our loose change. Every couple weeks, she would take me to a stamp collector’s store in Williamsburg and drop me off while she grocery-shopped, and I pieced together a little collection of stamps that didn’t cost much.
“My stamp collection’s not worth anything,” I told my mom.
“Some of those stamps are pretty old,” she said. “Give it a try.”
I went to a collector’s shop in Charlottesville. When the owner gave me his bid, I almost fainted. My mother was right. Over the fifteen years my stamps lay in a shoebox in my bedroom closet, a few of them had become valuable. The sale got me within striking distance of the ring’s price, and I borrowed the rest.
The little green flower burned a hole in my blue blazer’s side pocket as I drove my auburn-haired blind date down Route 250 at noon toward the new Chinese restaurant everyone was talking about. It was closed. I sped back toward Charlottesville and drove around frantically for what seemed like seventeen hours, looking for a romantic lunch spot where I could give her the ring. There was no good place!
Desperate, I lurched off the street into the Howard Johnson’s parking lot and pulled her by the hand into the dining room. During the six years it took to get a waitress to take our order, I began to chicken out. I had proposed in front of a camel. Now I was giving her an engagement ring at a Howard Johnson’s. I was blowing it!
It didn’t matter. I had to get that ring on her finger before I had a nervous breakdown. I put my hand in my pocket to draw strength from the flower. You have THE RING, I told myself. That’s what’s important.
“You know that engagement ring?” I said.
“Yeah?” An unsuspecting tone.
“Which hand does it go on?” Because I was so stupid I truly didn’t know.
“This one,” she said, extending her left hand across a plate of fried clams.
“Which finger?” I’m not that stupid. I was stalling while I tried to pull myself together.
She showed me her ring finger.
I took a deep breath, pulled the ring out of my pocket, and slipped it on. It only made it half-way down her finger because she clenched her fist with superhuman strength, crushing my fingers, both of us shaking all over, she from excitement, me from excruciating pain.
We got married the weekend after graduation. We had three children. Four grandchildren came along a generation later. We celebrate our forty-ninth anniversary next month.
My blind date still wears the little green flower. As I wrote this, just to see if I could raise that pixie grin, I asked her what she thought my old stamp collection would be worth today if we’d held on to it.
“Not as much as my ring,” she said.
She’s right about that.
Bill Young
May 30, 2018 @ 8:48 pm
Ken: Nicely done! Ah, the blind date. That’s how Mary Anne and I met, in the spring of my third year, at some drinking-and-dancing joint in Lynchburg when she was in her first year at Randolph-Macon. I only got sucked into this road trip by some of our fraternity brethren because I was so bummed out after having an accident on I‑95 in Delaware in my beautiful British Racing Green Austin-Healey 3000, driving back from New York with Chuck Gravett. I think MA only got sucked in because her roommate was one Jacquie Fox, later the wife of a certain Robert O. Elder of your acquaintance. In any event, anniversary #48 is coming up on June 13. Yikes.
Ken
May 31, 2018 @ 7:24 am
Congratulations on your 48th. I remember the roommate connection with Jacquie but didn’t know you and Mary Anne met on a blind date. Interesting the serendipitous connections that led to your getting together. Cindy and I both almost backed out of our date beforehand. Changed our minds at the last minute. There must be something to this predestination stuff!
Jon Hutton
May 30, 2018 @ 8:19 pm
Loved this, Ken! Looking forward to seeing you & Cindy at the aforementioned Pi Kap anniversary in 2021. Now I’m wondering whatever happened to my stamp collection.…
Ken
May 31, 2018 @ 7:19 am
Thanks, Jon! Track those stamps down! You never know. We’ll see you in 2021.
Don Smith '75
May 29, 2018 @ 8:05 am
That is one of the sweetest things you’ve ever written! You really do have a way with words.…
By the way, I hope you two Crazy Kids will join us in 2021 for the 60th Anniversary of Beta Upsilon, for it is most likely to be held where you gave her the ring!!! The old HoJos became a Red Roof, and is now newly refurbished and called The Graduate in Charlottesville!!!
Ken
May 29, 2018 @ 11:56 am
Thanks, Don! We’ll plan to be there in 2021. I didn’t know the old HoJo building still stood. Someone told me it was gone, but I guess they meant it had been converted. The Franklin Park Zoo was still chugging along, too, last I heard, although they’ve probably got some new camels. It’s been a long time!
Michael
May 27, 2018 @ 8:58 am
Ken — keep writing. This one brought a tear to my eye and a giggle from my lips at same time.
Ken
May 27, 2018 @ 1:39 pm
Thanks, Mike! I’m bringing a new murder mystery close to completion. May need to hit you up for a beta-read!
Melissa Plaisance
May 27, 2018 @ 7:41 am
Congrats to you and Cindy! I wasn’t sure until the very end that it was “your story”. The story is great and the photos are wonderful!
Ken
May 27, 2018 @ 1:38 pm
Thanks, Melissa! It was fun to write. Brought that time back to life for us.
Scott Putnam
May 27, 2018 @ 5:49 am
I’m actually married to my blind dates best friend. There was something about her ‚besides dancing eyes and a great smile. I dated the other girl for four months and we broke up because her mom didn’t want her to be serious. Many long talks later,I began to know the best friend. We were married 6 yrs later. Divorced over money. Got remarried because we grew up and realized no one else compared.
Ken
May 27, 2018 @ 7:27 am
Thanks for sharing, Scott. A blind date’s friend, married, divorced, and remarried. You two walked a different path but your love won out in the end. A wonderful story!
John Heathcliff
May 26, 2018 @ 11:28 pm
Have to add my admiration and respect, not only for your thoughful and quick action to go boldly towards your love lest you lose her, but also for the tender, brave, and vulnerable way you share your story with all of us, your friends, family and admirers. My own engagement as was deeply heartfelt too. I had the flowers, the drinks, the georgeous ring, the perfect place, a singer, Peter, who came to our table to sing Besa me Mucho to us with absolute perfection. (He got a standing ovation from everyone in the restaurant on Olveras Street. My big responsibility was to say the words: Will you marry me when he was done. Despite being set up for success, I blubbered the words in the most incohernt way possible with a very runny nose. (I didn’t know I was a blubberer.) My lovely Elizabeth adored me and took pity my blubbering for she knew it was sincere. It turned out to be one of the greatest days of our lives. Today, we blubber together at a movie or when we feel overwhelmed knowing just how blessed we are.. Ain’t love grand?
Ken
May 27, 2018 @ 7:23 am
Thanks for your kind words, John. Your story is beautiful, although I have a hard time imagining you blubbering. You set up your proposal well and it sounds wonderful. Plus, you won the love of your life. You should write a blog of your own! I miss seeing you down here.
Morris Thurston
May 26, 2018 @ 2:38 pm
Great story, Ken! So nice to memorialize an experience like that for your children and grandchildren (not to mention your friends). Now I want to read Cindy’s side of the story.
Ken
May 26, 2018 @ 4:05 pm
Thanks, Morrie! You better believe I ran every word of this thing by the Big Boss before publishing it! Seriously, it was fun for both of us. We had a great time working on it together.
Gay Bell
May 26, 2018 @ 1:35 am
As usual,Ken, you make me nostalgic and amused. Your story is so like ours. 49 years and counting. Hey, I even had the hairstyle, and also chose a non-traditional ring!
Ken
May 26, 2018 @ 7:40 am
Thanks, Gay! Well, then, maybe the non-traditional ring goes along with that hairstyle. I don’t know, but it was fun to recall all this. Forty-nine years went by pretty fast, it seems, but we sure had a good time.
Kathy Miller
May 25, 2018 @ 6:08 pm
Ken, great story. Karl and I also met on my first and only, blind date!
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 6:28 pm
Thanks, Kathy. Lots of blind dates seem to be coming out of the closet. Carl and I can attest that it works out well at least some of the time!
Linda Hawxhurst
May 25, 2018 @ 5:33 pm
Ken, Jack and I met on a blind date too. We worked out OK as well…48 years this summer.
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 5:39 pm
I didn’t know that! That’s great! Sarah Jessica Parker once said blind dates are like going to Las Vegas. You hope to hit the jackpot, but you always come home broke and hung over. Jack and I are living proof she’s wrong. We both hit the jackpot!
Janet Senk
May 25, 2018 @ 4:34 pm
That story of yours meeting your wife back when is just so so cool. Loved how you wrote/spoke it with your heart. Are you not both so lucky in love? Getting “pinned”, oh I remember those days and the fraternity guys and the non-member guys. What an exhilarating time back then.
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 4:44 pm
Thanks, Janet! We are very lucky, indeed. I don’t know if “pinning” is still in vogue, but if not, it should be. Those days were definitely exhilarating.
Gay Yellen
May 25, 2018 @ 3:33 pm
Another wonderful story from you, Ken. Thank you. Congratulations to you both and wishes for many more happy years together.
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 4:42 pm
Thanks, Gay! It was fun to write this one.
Veronica Herring Brownlee
May 25, 2018 @ 2:44 pm
What a sweet story. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary! Thanks for sharing your story. You have something in common with Prince Harry. He met Meghan Markle on a blind date.
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 3:03 pm
Thanks, Veronica. Me and Harry seem to be in different pay brackets, though. Their wedding was a little fancier than ours.
Melissa Henderson
May 25, 2018 @ 2:38 pm
Very sweet! My husband and I have been married for 39 years and grow more in love everyday. 🙂
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 3:02 pm
Thanks, Melissa! Congratulations to you and your husband!
Barbara McCauley
May 25, 2018 @ 2:29 pm
Hello Ken.….….….…..what fun to see another story from you!
And a true love story! My husband and I just celebrated 49 years also!
Sure is big milestones for our age group!
Have loved all your stories!
Keep them coming!
My best to you and your wife!
Barbara
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:58 pm
Thanks, Barbara! Writing this piece, it seemed like we were living this only a short time ago. Lots of milestones for sure.
Ryan Peterson
May 25, 2018 @ 1:22 pm
Loved reading this and can’t wait to share with my wife! Thanks Mr. Oder
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:19 pm
Thanks, Ryan! Glad you enjoyed it.
Carrie Hausman
May 25, 2018 @ 12:32 pm
Dear Mr. Oder,
What a genuinely remarkable personal story for you to share with us! I’m not much of a romantic (perhaps too pragmatic and wounded once too often;)) BUT, the tale of you and your beautiful wife caused even my jaded eyes to well up.
Thank you for sharing…
Sincerely.
Carrie Hausman
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:18 pm
Thank you, Carrie! I’m glad our story moved you. It was a fun and magical time for us, and I enjoyed having a reason to bring it back to life.
Betty Lou McClanahan Hill
May 25, 2018 @ 12:19 pm
What a wonderful story!! I giggled out loud several times!! True love that lasts is a wonderful gift and you two have certainly had that!! Congratulations ? and I wish many more anniversaries for you and your “pixie smiled” wife!!
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:15 pm
Thanks, Betty Lou! I got real lucky on that blind date. This one was fun to write.
Kathleen Gardiner
May 25, 2018 @ 12:14 pm
Awesome story! Congratulations!
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:10 pm
Thanks, Kathleen!
Carla Conrad
May 25, 2018 @ 12:14 pm
What a love story. Congratulations to you both. The value of some things are beyond price, the stamp collection that fetched enough to buy the ring of a lifetime and the ring that promised all the years of happiness with many more to come.
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:09 pm
Thanks, Carla. Your comment captures the essence of our story.
Cathy Ude
May 25, 2018 @ 11:35 am
Love love love this!!!!
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:07 pm
Thanks, Cathy!
Lucy Brown
May 25, 2018 @ 11:33 am
Grand story!!! Congratulations.….….….love, well done!
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:06 pm
Thanks, Lucy! All in all, a pretty successful blind date.
Kate Schoenherr
May 25, 2018 @ 11:33 am
What a great story! I loved it. Thank you for sharing.
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:05 pm
Thanks, Kate! It was fun to write.
Dixie
May 25, 2018 @ 11:31 am
Love it. The memories of that time are worth much more than the stamp collection. The ring is a bonus!
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:05 pm
Thanks, Dixie! You’re right about that.
Janet Graham
May 25, 2018 @ 11:23 am
Too cute and too romantic! Blessings to all of you!
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:04 pm
Thanks, Janet!
Chad Redick
May 25, 2018 @ 11:15 am
Great story Ken. Trip down memory lane with road trips to Mary Baldwin. Mary Washington. Radford. Randy Mac. Sweet Briar. Good lord my 62 Valient got a lot of miles.
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:03 pm
Thanks, Chad! I remember your Valient. I made those trips in a Dodge Lancer with a gash in the front bumper where I ran through a fence post on a rainy night. Those were fun days!
GA
May 25, 2018 @ 11:13 am
Great story and presentation Kenny!
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:01 pm
Thanks, GA! Scored some points with my blind date on this one.
Dan Hunt
May 25, 2018 @ 11:09 am
Congrats Ken and Blind Date! A fabulous story!
Ken
May 25, 2018 @ 2:00 pm
Thanks, Dan! It was fun to write. More fun to live it.